Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Don't move.. but do start stacking your food! Definitely do that.

Recipe of the week...
... Mushroom, Halloumi & Avocado Stack
with Pesto

Ingredients: Half a block of halloumi cheese, either one large Portobello mushroom or a handful of regular mushrooms, an avocado, and a tablespoon of green pesto
(Plus, if serving for the evening meal, prepare some kind of carb to accompany – I lazily microwaved a Steamfresh sachet of Mediterranean rice from frozen)

Time taken: 20 mins tops.

Serves: One tall, precarious stack.

Hi readers,

How are things, amigos? Are you hanging in there? It’s been A WHILE. And it’s been a while because I FINALLY moved house. Yes, that’s right. All my things – alllll my things – are now living somewhere entirely new. Along with me. It’s been a slog, readers. Somewhat of a battle. Kind of a fucking nightmare, at times. But I’m moved! Hurray!

And my new room is so lovely, readers! It’s bigggger. And I have a desk for working at, and a settee for lounging on. I have a cupboard that fits a good half of my lives-in-box/live-in-bag type stuff. The stuff that seeks darkness, that I don’t really bother much, that I have just yet again dragged to a new house for slim-to-no reason. But now it has its own cupboard!

I’m so happy to be moved, readers. For the ordeal to be over. Pictures are hung and the blackout blind has gone up. I constructed a coat stand using a table knife, and a table mirror using some tweezers. I’ve acknowledged that I need a screwdriver. I’ve cleaned and found a place for everything. Then ransacked it all and had another go. And everything is now, finally in its place.

I’ve fallen over. Things have fallen on me. I’ve stubbed my toe, been hit in the face. Lost things, found things, and even thrown a few things away. Time for a beer, no bottle opener. Thirsty for juice, no glass. Just washed my hands, no fucking towel. I’ve met my new housemates and attempted to appear normal, then given up on that. I’ve met the neighbours and made no attempt to appear normal, but I was nice all the same. And so were they.

The new barbecue cover spends more time blowing around the ‘garden’ that it does covering the barbecue. The ‘garden’ is really a cemented/pebbled/paved yard area, there to houses the bins. It lacks grass and that make me a little sad. Two of my best tops are still missing from the move and YES I SUSPECT YOU ALL.

Honestly, though, it’s almost certain that the tops are in my possession or lost as a result of my own incompetency. And the ‘garden’ IS big. If I get some kind of plant to water and sit a load of chairs facing away from the bins, then we defo could still barbecue. All is not lost and I’m just massively RELIEVED to not be moving anymore. Don’t do it, readers. That’s all I’ll say – don’t ever do it. Unless you want to probe the limits of your strength as a human being, or your current house is actually endangering your life, then do not move.

Readers, I hope you’ve been having lots of fun this past week not moving house. I hope there’s been wine and sunshine and adventures! What’s your highlight of the past week, do you think? If you had to pick one, from the last seven days, what would it be? Either I’ve just raised a smile or you need to go start the fun right now! Life is too short not to. It is.

I hope that there’s much fun in store for you, readers. And that you have some time lined up soon with the friends! Remember those loons? Those nut jobs that speak to your soul? When did you last see them?? Get something in your diaries, I say! I saw both Floss and Suzeroo this weekend, readers, and the besties never fail to remind me that they’re wonderful and so it’s probable I am too. We’re fabulous people. And hilarious, also.

This week’s Recipe of the Week, readers – which I hear all the fabulous people are cooking – is one I found on an Australian blog called Taste Without Waste (you can read here), for a Mushroom, Halloumi & Avocado Stack with Pesto. I’ve been on a mission this week to use up fresh ingredients from my fridge and simply googled everything I had, along with the word ‘recipe’… this was my top search result! Though I didn’t follow the TWW recipe to the letter, it was the sole inspiration for my ensuing Frankenstack creation.

Readers, this all worked out pretty well. I must say. I’ve been struggling for time this past week, since moving house, but this recipe needed next to no time at all. It was perfect. And the stack tasted so. good. I love love loved it and I’m sure you will, too! Want to stack up one of these marvellous creations yourself? Here’s the recipe in just ten simple steps…

1.     Pour yourself a drink, shake away your cares, and set some soothing music playing.
ChefBeHere Top Tip: My fave songs this week, readers, are ‘Ride – All I Want’ and ‘This Is The Kit – Moonshine Freeze’. I recommend.
2.     Get all of your ingredients out of the fridge freezer and switch on your George Foreman (if you’re sadly lacking a George Foreman you have my pity – turn on your regular grill, instead, and consider investing in a lean mean grilling machine).
3.     While George heats up, use a sharp knife to cut your cheese into a few chunky strips.
4.     Add your cheese to the grill and, while it begins to cook, chop up your mushroom(s).
ChefBeHere Top Tip: Though this may seem incredibly wrong (it did to me), you need to chop sideways. So, you end up with flat, wide pieces of mushroom. That’s the aim.
5.     Add your mushrooms to the grill along with the cheese.
6.     If you’re microwave ricing like me, now is the time to get your carb heating up.
ChefBeHere Top Tip: I sat my rice on a dinner plate in the microwave, to warm my plate ready for food, while the rice steamed. A nice touch.
7.     Leave your cheese and mushroom to grill for around 5 minutes. Meanwhile, peel your avocado and chop vertically into flat, wide pieces.
8.     Now, it’s time for assembly. Tip your mushrooms and cheese out of the grill onto a square of kitchen roll, to absorb any moisture coming off them.
9.     Then, begin stacking cheese, mushroom and halloumi on your plate with the odd smearing of pesto every few layers.
10.  Once stacked, add your accompanying carb to the plate and then tuck into this feast of a tea you just prepared in no time at all!

What do you think, readers? Isn’t this great?! It’s like everything good in the world all on one plate! You get me?? If you don’t then I’m not sure we see eye to eye, readers, this tastes to me like a marvellous plateful of food! It’s THE BOMB. Just look at it, admire.

If you’re not sure – go make one and then you will know. If all you needed to see was the photo and your grill is already heating as I type – you have your ducks in order. I like you. Either way, please let me know what you think, readers! Did this dish exceed expectations? Or, was it not all you hoped it would be? Did it stack as intended or did you have a Jenga-style collapse en route to your table?

Whatever went on and whatever your thoughts may be... send ‘em on over! I hope to hear from you soon, readers. And I hope you have a wonderful week ahead, for both food and life. Remember – do not move.

Stack safely,


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