Wednesday, 31 December 2014


Recipe: Egg Tomatoni

Time taken: ¾ of an hour

Ingredients: Eggs, cherry tomatoes, Quorn pepperoni slices & mayo

Hi readers,

It’s our last day of 2014! As I write we’re literally on the cusp of a New Year. It’s terrifying! Can you believe it’s been 15 years since we were celebrating the Millenium?? That was 15 years ago! My mind BOGGLES. I strongly recommend just pouring a drink later and trying really hard not to think about the big picture. That’s what I’ll be doing!

And I’ll be pouring a drink… in Newcastle! That’s right… after some stressful travel yesterday I left Sheffield’s snow behind and made it back up north for NYE in The Toon! To celebrate Geordie-style!

Aaaaaand I’m back in the proper ChefBeHere kitchen! Hurray! I’m back to having my own cupboard and using our beat up student kitchenware. And, after some hefty deliveries from Asda and Holland & Barrett, the house is full of food! Whey! In a student house, there is no greater joy.

And I’m back to having my freedom with food! In one way this is because when you’re a student at home, a lot of the time I guess you get looked after and fed up, and generally catered for by mum and dad. For a very brief while you have VIP status in the house and this tends to bring with it, at least in my home, some proper home cooked grub! So you relinquish your freedom over what you eat, and in turn you play no part in the preparation of any meals. It’s lush.

ALSO though, I think everyone has less freedom with food at Christmas. You’re dealing with buffets and restaurants meals throughout the festive season. A cheese board here and there. Some roasted chestnuts. Constant ‘nibbles’. On the big day, obviously, you’re eating a full roast. There’s usually some kind of pudding/fruit cake/gateaux/cheesecake/trifle (maybe all of them) involved. Then you’re eating turkey sandwiches for far too long in the Christmas aftermath. All those chocolates that were under the tree? You’re opening boxes left, right and centre. It’s never ending!

Half the time, I think, there’s a voice in your head that’s like “I JUST WANT AN APPLE… ONE APPLE”. Or, you know, something of the kind. When there’s a constant stream of rich foods and booze on offer it seems silly, but if I could have chosen my food this Christmas I think I’d have picked something much smaller and simpler a lot of the time!  

Now though, on December 31st, we’re pretty much at the end of it all. And there’s a light at the end of the tunnel! Sure, you might have one more buffet to tackle tonight. Maybe the leftovers tomorrow. But then… you can eat ANYTHING. You’ve got your freedom back. And I encourage you not to be boring. You have power: go crazy! Literally, eat any weird shit you like. Throw things together that you never have before! Get ODD with it. Why not? You’re not feeding this food to a crowd of twenty anymore… just you!

So, this lunchtime, I had so many new foods in and I’m so unused to preparing my own food that I didn’t really know what to do with myself in the kitchen. I had the vague notion I should make something healthy. I wanted something warm as it’s frigging ICY here. I had eggs to use up. And so things got odd. But I prepared, readers, a masterpiece!

I call it the Egg Tomatoni. And here’s how to make yours…

1. Heat the oven to 200˚C and boil the kettle.

2. Place 3 eggs in a saucepan, pour your boiling water over them and leave the pan to heat on a hob.

ChefBeHere Top Tip: FOR CHRIST’S SAKE PUT A LID ON THE PAN. Otherwise, you will anger me. Things boil quicker with a lid on and so you need to have the hob on for less time. As a result, you use less energy. Hence, less global warming. Simples.

3. Leave your eggs to boil for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, chop 6 cherry tomatoes in half. Dance around.

4. After 10 minutes, remove your pan from the heat and drain away the water. With your eggs in a sieve/colander, pour cold water over them to cool them down.

5. Then use your hands to peel away the shells of your eggs. Bin the shells.

ChefBeHere Top Tip: First, tap each egg with a teaspoon in order to create a crack in the shell. Then you can get it off neatly.

6. Chop each of your eggs into quarters and arrange them around the edge of a bowl.

7. Place a cherry tomato-half between each bit of egg.

8. Arrange some Quorn pepperoni slices artistically in the centre of the bowl. I popped an extra cherry tomato in the middle of them, too.

9. Safely transport your bowl into the oven to warm for 20 minutes.

10. After 20 minutes, carefully remove your bowl from the oven and drizzle the contents with some mayo/salad cream/dressing. Serve up your lunch. Bon appétit!

I created this beauty!

Isn’t it odd? So odd! I was thinking this while it cooked. What a weeeeird bowlful of food. But, somehow, good. I liked this! I like eggs; I like tomatoes; I like Quorn. I’ve never had Quorn pepperoni slices before, but basically they just taste like spicy Quorn. Similar to all other Quorn. I’m going to put them on pizza soon. But, also, they worked in this lunch! It was a weird coming together of flavours. But it was a good one. Plus, it looks funky. And it’s not altogether unhealthy. Win!

So, to edit this recipe… I think the eggs are fundamental. But you could switch the tomatoes for maybe… olives? Button mushrooms? Little squares of pepper? And your Quorn pepperoni slices; they could be subbed with… any other kind of Quorn? (It all tastes the same!) Some halloumi cheese? A very mini quiche? Literally, anything that springs to mind that doesn’t sound undeniably awful.

And there you have it! Fancy a rather odd lunch? Definitely give this one a try. It’s up there with the oddest. And let me know what you think! Did you enjoy this? Would you ever eat it again? Fill me in! And I want to hear any suggestions you may have for equally odd meals I could try. I’m embracing all mealtime oddities this January. And I hope you do, too.

This will be us

On that note… all the best for 2015, amigos!

Party safely,


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